Not Gone

No, I wasn't drunk
Last night, falling
Stairs carpet ways
Made in Bret Kong
With end time
Noodles plastered to your
Forehead.

No, I wasn't there
Last week when
I was stopped at the front of
Mahjong table
Mariachi Millhouse
On the way to where
I was meant to be.

No, I wasn't anticipating
Her eyes in
Dark black holes for
Nine black pods I just
Had to do it.

I wasn't drunk the night
The night those
Weekend men hit out
I was at the back I was
Sailing into your
Angles I was

Half gone like a
Wet road-warehouse
Kill of late august
I wasn't drunk I
Was watching and
Waiting

And no I liked it
How in the day I wasn't
High I wasn't aware
Not left her laugh
His hips fall dry elite.

OpinionWorld

Just thought I'd warn y'all, if you're thinking of applying to this online job in market research, do not. It's a scaaaaam. It will ask you to do surveys, collect the information it needs then display a message saying you're unsuitable to continue the survey, henceforth unable to be paid. I know this as I have tried the same survey on different computers. They deliberately make it impossible for you to complete the surveys. Just thought I'd spread this information...

!£** Blogger

This website is really starting to piss me off. Formatting sucks and it always screws up my posts. Ahh, have a to do list the length of my arm. Have been too busy reliving Reading dancing around the house to the bands I saw there and sunk into the couch addicted to Two and a Half Men and Britain and Irelands Next Top Model. What am I doing, I ask myself. Shame Tanya went, though...now I like them all except Imogen, looks-wise...but I bet she'll win because she's so commercial and has such a bouncy personality...Not really, I'd quite like Jessica to win. Also, how good is Torchwood: Miracle Day?! I thought the past seasons were good, this just blows them out of the water. It's such a genius premise. Reminds me a bit of Death Note. I love that Jilly Kitzinger woman. I love slimy, vaguely pathetic characters like that. FYI my camera broke on holiday in Bulgaria earlier this Summer, hence the lack of photos lately. But I am hoping to get a new one soon.

Reading Festival 2011

I don't think any opening song out of the whole festival hit me like 'Is This It', in The Strokes. There's something so compelling about that song. The guitar sounds like the twinkling of Christmas lights on a cold winter's night on Oxford Street, tired people flocking to some subway or another. There was a moment when my hands and face were raised to the heavens and it felt just like that song says everything I love and hate about life. Oh Reading. How could I ever have doubted you? Just like last year, I left Reading having completely expelled all the shit from the year in my head and with an even bigger crush on Alice Glass and Julian Casablancas.

So, not only did I survive Reading Festival 2K11 (as it was written on our campsite flag), but actually came back in a relatively healthy state. That kind of disappointed me, but it was still nice not to feel like shit on the car journey home. My feet were clean and everything. Still have no voice though. And you know what, I also feel like I looked...acceptable this year at Reading...I know, it's weird...But on the whole, this year's Reading was so much more of a success than last year. I had thought the line up was worse for me but I found that it worked when I was there, and was potentially better than last year. I mean, my main complaint was that I wasn't getting my money's worth because I'd already paid to see so many of the bands live, but the fact that they were my favourite bands and I knew their material off by heart ended up completely overshadowing that fact. I looked better, felt better, did not lose or damage ONE thing. I think I generally did everything right - saw the right amount of bands, spent the right amount of money. When Bring Me The Horizon hollered 'Party till you pass out, drink till you're dead, dance all night till you can't feel your legs' on Friday morning, I could holler along with conviction, and came back with two disposable cameras' worth of proof of that. Top marks to Reading '11, best three days of the year without a doubt. It's nice to be able to say that because it's an affirmation of where my priorities lie, it clears a few things up - no matter what I spend most of my time doing, music is my life.

Top three sets? The headliners, with Crystal Castles a very close fourth. And I couldn't choose between the headliners. They were all equivalent to nothing short of ecstasy. I like to think that this, instead of displaying prioritisation of pyrotechnics over music, is testament to the wideness of my taste in music - I happen to be a megafan of all three headliners. There was a pretty big division this year concerning the Main Stage at Reading - you liked Friday, or you liked Saturday and Sunday. Completely fair, it was Friday pop-punk new blood against Saturday and Sunday's old indie legends of classic Reading suitability. However, I can safely say I loved every day. I mean Friday morning was a bit of a shocker but I'm glad it was. It would be a damned lie if I said I didn't fucking love the whole thing and everything in it.

When the night is young and you're in a crowd of tens of thousands of people, screaming things like 'I'm not Okay', 'We'll carry on', 'We are the kids from yesterday' and 'I am not afraid to keep on living' can not really fail to do something a bit like complete you. My Chemical Romance were just on top form and could not have been better if they tried. They're one of my favourite bands anyway. SNM. OK, I'll say it anyway. They opened with 'Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)', followed by 'I'm Not Okay (I Promise)', continued to play a pretty much perfect set, of which 'Helena', 'S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W' and 'Famous Last Words' were my highlights, Gerard got on the floor and writhed around alluringly, Mikey and his hair were there (nuff' said), the camera showed a close-up of Gerard's crotch which was, to say the least, unforgettable, Brian May got on stage to help them cover 'We Will Rock You', they closed with 'Welcome To The Black Parade', and they had fireworks. In every way. I <3 you MCR.

I went to Reading thinking it would be infinitely better if the bands on Friday were on Sunday instead, seeing the weekend off with a bang, and if it weren't for Muse I still might, but that one band turned it all around and made Sunday night one truly worthy of the last night of Reading. I can't believe I ever thought that Muse wouldn't blow my mind. My first experience of seeing them, at Wembley, should've been enough to convince me that they would. I'm not sure if they would have had it not been the Origin Of Symmetry anniversary gig, because I'm not a fan of their latest album, but as it was it made it the perfect Muse gig for me, OoS being my favourite Muse album. It was the definition of gratification - seeing one of your favourite albums played in whole, front-to-back, in the optimum gigging environment. Highlights: 'New Born', 'Space Dementia', 'Citizen Erased', 'Screenager', 'Supermassive Black Hole', 'Time is Running out'.

I'm hearing feedback for The Strokes' performance at Reading and Leeds and people seem cynical. This is understandable, they didn't put anywhere near as much effort into their set as My Chemical Romance or Muse. Brian May did not accompany them on stage. It is generally understandable why people wouldn't like The Strokes. They're a band formulated of image, hype (in spades) and good music - in a case such as this, the former two components of the outfit can often seem to outshadow the good music. It doesn't change the fact that if the world went collectively into a killer coma and God went round trying to find something that could wake them up, he'd find that millions of people would only awaken, thrashing and pumping fists, to the sound of anything from 'Is This It'. I'm not saying that MCR or Muse don't have eqivalent power at their fingertips, just that maybe The Strokes have a particular kind of raw power that electrifies you for no apparant reason. Or it's just me. Even now with 'The Modern Age' blaring on my stereo, it feels like Reading-glitter is raining down on me, like a lovely but saddening  festival phantom...DON'T WANT YOU HERE RIGHT NOW, LET ME GO! DARLING LET ME! LET ME GO! In Julian's own immortal words.

'Someday', 'You Only Live Once', 'NYC Cops' and 'Under Cover Of Darkness' were sublime. I'd have loved to hear 'Soma', 'On The Other Side' and 'Heart in a Cage' but how the set left me wanting more only made it better. Besides, for every Strokes favourites missed, a new favourite was discovered - 'What Ever Happened', 'Take it or Leave it'. After the mild disappointment that was 'Angles', they'd better come out with a corker of a fifth album, which I will faithfully await with baited breath.

Other lifelong memories:
- 'No Self Esteem' and 'Why Don't You Get a Job?' at The Offspring.
- 'Back To School' at Deftones, who didn't play much of their latest album which pissed me right off.
- 'Save Our Selves' and 'Higher and Higher' at The Blackout.
- The Blackout banter.
- Awkwardness of Patrick Wolf's banter.
- 'The Middle', 'Coffee and Cigarettes' and 'Hear You Me' at Jimmy Eat World.
- 'Wings Of a Dove' and 'It Must Be Love' at Madness.
- 'Romantic Type' and 'Take Her Back' at The Pigeon Detectives.
- 'No Sssweat' at Enter Shikari.
- 'The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage', 'Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met)' and 'Hurricane' at Panic! At The Disco.
- 'Boyfriend', 'I Want To' and 'When I'm With You' at Best Coast.
- 'Young Blood' at The Naked and Famous.
- 'Ain't No Rest For The Wicked' and 'Shake Me Down' at Cage The Elephant.
- The massive sex appeal of Brendon Urie, Sean Smith, Oli Sykes and Bethany Cosentino.

Now Listening To: Everything related to Reading Festival. Rock on Summer 2011.

Wagwan Gs

Like my poem? Will hopefully be reading it at Kid, I Wrote Back next month... Also, I'm so in love with Panic!'s video for The Ballad of Mona Lisa and am if possible even more hyped to see them at Reading. Am thanking God Panic! decided to go back to their old punk cabaret ways from their 'A Fever' days...The 'Mona Lisa' video is like the 'Vice and Virtues' version of the 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' video...except Brendan's outfit is EVEN better. I wonder if I could pull off that insane gothic/satanic inventor look he's swinging...

I don't know how much input Panic! actually have in their video set and costume design, but something strange I found with their earlier videos, as well as with these latest ones, is that I literally could've designed them myself, it's like those costumes were plucked directly from the 'I wish I could wear something as zany as this' fashion design department of my brain. Which is actually a very active department. I don't want to sound up myself here but it's true, and it figures. If I was to take a stab in the dark, I would say that apart from being very obviously steampunk/goth influenced, Brendan's outfit is so cartoonish it's been practically swiped from some random anime character already in existance. And anime and manga, as a section of culture, has always been...pretty much a quarter of my personality, so of course all of my fashion design inspiration would be heavily influenced by Japanese art and manga/anime.

It's like that with manga nerds, of which I'm a prime example. You're either not connected with that part of culture, or you're connected completely - it's more than just an interest, it's a 'way'. If you're a real manga nerd, you act, talk, draw, write and think in terms of manga. I'm making it sound like it's an obsession but it's more of a subconscious thing...you just casually, gradually become Japanese...

Was also thinking randomly that I'd like to know who came up with the idea that 'You're the shit' is a compliment.

Now Listening To:

Muse - Origin of Symmetry. Just reminding myself of one of my favourite albums ever before I hear it PLAYED IN WHOLE (probably) at Reading this weekend...Space Dementia best song for me no doubt, although I have hotly debated this with many friends...

Bring Me The Horizon - There is a Hell etc. Their best album to date, I love it.

Patrick Wolf - Lupercalia. The latest outing from my favourite male pop star is just as impressive as The Bachelor but I don't know if anything, for me, will ever compare to the dark genius of Lycanthropy...or even Wind in the Wires...As much as I do already like it, hopefully Lupercalia will grow on me.

For The Poison

Splurging hidden in the mud and the tyres which
Skidded healthily all year long, coughing for us
The night before, overheated onto
The self-same driveway, of school-brick sentimentality,
Of hour-long knowledge, of hard hospitality,
The façade sun-ridden and sick with liquids swilling
From dank, cool corners. The sickness which took us
From our cribs, overplayed our tweens, congested in the                  
Mires the Fridays, the weekdays and halo-happy
Leftovers. Dumb intake, the Ron Montilla, locked to a point
Under the eyes of nebulae, nurturing the love of
The putrefying smoke, painting the planet in its
First pink sigh over your approving nodding head,
My clapping campus hands. Dragged stony soles
Over cobbled wet earth, the vehicles of hard-won conviction
In lie-drawn eyes, after sleep on grassy banks and
The left-swinging pendulum gait of crystal-blinking
Night bus travellers, haughty beggars to the
Company of the invisible shadow-swimming horde.
We lost the way back from your house at
Dawns, in weirs and root-bound ricker-houses
All the way from scanting Mersey and Metropolis,
Sleuthing the way to the sullen canal by directions from
Air vents, pretending reluctance at the blare.
Harden lanes we slipped through unsympathetic
To the lights of pastel scattered star blocks,
Raging distant above in thrall to those zodiac Gods of
Library legend, slumped over countless blackened seats and
Skins, regaling each other with the faint uncertain looks
Of old-time concession, prickling in wry
Mattresses wrung and tripped to from shuttered
Lighthouses left and fine in Hara-hung tributaries that
Expire year by year, sickly wires protruding from the
Shrubs and ears and subways, the progenitors of
Generations of years, mimicking aged town-crying
Fundraisers and paths we are to a fault. We bald
And bleach days worried by hire, ferreting out warrens
And half-full bottles, the ever-ending lame snag of
Eyelids, Gloucester raincoats and how the blue wood
Spinning tops of baby racing down fortnights
Digressed in wan and bruising arms, sunk wilful chasms,
The suspenseful following their grit stone track.

Back to School

Just got a letter from Argos entitled 'Your student essentials checklist'. Top of the list 'Sony 30in HD Ready TV'. Talking to the wrooonnnggg student. Anyways YES I did get my grades on August 18th, and am glad to say I am definitely going to Queen Mary Uni of London in September. I'm satisfied with my grades, but...not what I would call 'happy'... I should be, I'm just hard to please. On the bright side that means I'll be driven to do better in life...so, it's probably a good thing...live in hope. What I'm actually excited about is moving to London, the city I've considered my home for years now - where else has given me so much and asked for so little in return? Or asked, in terms of money, and been so easy to rip off. First Capital Connect, I am proud to say I'm looking at you, you bastards. Was peak times seeing my new Mile End address for the first time, when I'd finally confirmed and accepted my uni accomodation (it's amazing), and it just makes me more smug each time I put it on a new job application. Sadly no pets. Obviously I saw that one coming but couldn't help subconcsiously envisaging that pet snake I've always wanted in a tank neatly tucked in my uni room...Ha, 'neatly'...

With any luck I'll a) pass my driving test soon. b) get my arse back to poetry slam soon. c) have an amazing time in Rome in the outstanding company of mi amiga Kim. Flight booked for the 6th September, we're staying for a week. d) leave Reading, next weekend, with my life and all personal belongings.

And that's where it's at, follks.

Now Listening To:

Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks. Now, all of last week, probably all of next week. Possibly for ever. ALSO, Pumped Up Kicks, Chrome Canyon Remix. Total monging out on your couch anthem, if you can have anthems for monging out on your couch.

Lady Gaga - Born This Way (the album). This is...really good. I am impressed as always. Must hear: Bad Kids, You & I, Government Hooker, the singles.

R.I.P. Del Shannon

I watched the cult Japanese horror movie 'Audition', or 'Odishon' as it it's called in the original Japanese version, a while back now but thought it deserved mention due to its being one out of the two or three films that have ever managed to freak me out. It's just the torture scene. Anyway, this post is dedicated to Del Shannon (1934-1990), one of my favourite Rock and Roll artists along with the King. I'd been aware of his super hit 'Runaway' but not until relatively recently was I enlightened to the full extent of his awesome legacy via extensive hours spent scouring the Pirate Bay...Who was it that said, when Del sang, he had 'a teardrop in his throat?' I don't quite recall, but they were spot on...In the February of 1990 Del Shannon shot himself in the head with a rifle after a long and often difficult career. I first became intrigued by his looks and those pretty eyes in old photographs of him, then his melancholic lyrics, coy in the fashion of that typically 50s kind of romance. I'm not sure his memory is honoured often enough by DJs and general airwaves today, so I hope this post goes some way in spreading the gospel of Del so often overlooked by casual early rock admirers...

Cowboy Bebop

I just watched the film for about the tenth time and it made me mourn afresh how I'm not in posession of the series' boxset. I borrowed it from a friend for a year or something and in that space of time, watched and rewatched it countless times. Every time I get thinking in the slightest about that series, I realize how deeply it's affected me. It might sound stupid, it's only an anime series, but it is one of the most iconic animations ever made. No smoke without fire, in that so many people can't be wrong about the brilliance of that series. I forget how much of my general thinking today I owe to Cowboy Bebop, and I'm not just talking about all its philosophy, I mean the whole thing - the imagery, the values. Very much the values. When I think of a 'cool' guy, I don't realize that it's basically Spike Spiegel. When I think of a guy that's 'the man', it's basically Jet. When I consider my trademark female fictional character, it's basically Faye Valentine. All my short stories are overpopulated by various parodies of Faye. When I daydream, it's all in Bebop terms. Somehow, that show managed to embody all the ideas and fantasies that had been developing in my head my whole life up until that point. Even as a child, the mental landscape in which all my thoughts ran riot was so noir...romantic, dramatic, formed of cynical one-liners and sharp silhouettes. Of course, only now do I see quite how noir it was...

Now Listening To:

The Word Alive - Deceiver. This is a great album and great background listening, some parts sound a bit christmassy if you ask me. However I do think they do screamo a lot better than melody. That accent can't help but be a bit of a kill. *COUGH*if they were Londoners it'd be amazing*COUGH* Must hear: Dream Catcher.

Deftones - Diamond Eyes. I'm a little late, I know, but when I did finally sit down and listen to these guys' latest effort, I was blown away and fell in love with it instantly. Dark, glacial beauty with tempestuous guitars. In other words, classic Deftones. These guys are now probably the main reason I'm looking forward to Reading.

Royal Republic - We Are The Royal. This album is hilarious, I quote: "Now we're playing on the stereo, it's your favourite song.It's the best shit you've ever heard. And it's on." Lyrical genius that. Why aren't these at Reading, they're perfect for it. At first they just annoyed the hell out of me, but listening to the whole album I see that this ridiculously high-energy ADHD sound not only works but is perfect Summertime mosh fodder.  Mouth watering to think of the chaos 'Tommy Gun' would (well, should) cause. Must hear: 'Full Steam Spacemachine'.

ComeBACK ish

Hey readers, obviously I've been busy enough to have neglected my blog for a long, long time but I am promising a come back shortly. Perhaps not too shortly, as many of those responsibilitites which have prevented me from updating this blog remain unattended to...In the mean time, I invite you to consider the fascinating way in which I've spent this evening...in order to not be too cryptic, the scene of these photos is the desk in my study. Yes, that fascinating.